“It’s something I wish I had when I was a kid”: Nick Murphy on men’s mental health and the i.am approach

“Men’s Mental Health Week (15–21 June) is a chance to break down the silence that still surrounds men’s mental health.” 

For Nick Murphy, a peer worker with i.am in Tamworth, that silence is something he knows personally. Growing up as a bloke in a country town, he came from a background where men simply didn’t talk about things. Now, he’s helping to change that: one basketball game, one footy pass, one walk at a time. 

Meeting young people where they are 

i.am is NSW’s first child and youth specific suicide aftercare program co-produced by children and young people. It’s about connection: finding what works for each young person and building from there. 

For Nick, that often means getting outside. “A lot of what I do is outdoor stuff,” he says. “Finding what works for the kids and what makes them comfortable. I play basketball with some, or passing a footy, or going for a walk. Just finding out what works for them.” 

Putting tools in the toolbox 

Nick describes the i.am approach as helping young people build resilience: “putting tools in the toolbox, so they know what to do.” 

For teenage boys especially, that framing matters. “You see a lot of teenage boys, they just don’t want to talk about their feelings,” Nick says. “They’d rather be a little bit more proactive. And having someone they can vent to without analysing everything they say is so important.” 

That non-judgmental presence — someone who listens without dissecting — can be the thing that makes a young person feel safe enough to open up.  

Why it matters 

The data tells us that young men are among the most at-risk groups when it comes to suicide and mental health challenges — and among the least likely to seek help. In regional areas like Tamworth, where cultural expectations around masculinity can run deep, that gap between need and help-seeking can be even wider. 

Programs like i.am exist to bridge that gap. And peer workers like Nick — who have lived experience of what it means to grow up not talking about things — bring something that no clinical credential can replicate. 

“It’s very much something I wish I had when I was a kid,” Nick says. “And I think that’s part of the purpose behind why I want to keep doing it.” 

i.am is delivered by New Horizons and is available to young people under 25 across Western Sydney, Southwestern Sydney, the Mid-North Coast, and the Tamworth region. To find out more, visit https://www.newhorizons.org.au/i-am-support-lives-here/  

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